Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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