why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
