There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
