is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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