it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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