The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
this beer tastes like vomit already
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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