If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
