my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
