So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
