do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
