Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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