How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
