You can't special order awesome
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
