The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
