The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
