Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
