My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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