one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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