Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize