it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
