I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
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Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
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Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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