i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
