:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
