Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
