so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
