he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
