i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
