People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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