I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
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nutella sex= disaster
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
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The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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