I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize