good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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