wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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