covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
