Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
