All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
