Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
are you so shy because you have an std?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
