Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
