I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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