I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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