Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
