I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
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We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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