Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
