party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
