He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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