Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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