So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
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The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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