Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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