Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Text me some of your sweat
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
