I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
