Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
