as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
