My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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