I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
