I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just google imaged poop.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
