Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
