hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
