Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
