I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
