1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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